Most people understand the concept of actions vs. consequences and therefore realize they are directly responsible for their actions and the results of those actions. However, many do not take the same responsibility for their feelings and emotional reactions. Instead, they see themselves as victims. They blame others for how they feel. If this sounds familiar, the following tips can help you become more aware of and responsible for your own feelings.
⦁ In order to take responsibility for your feelings, you have to be brutally honest with yourself. It can be tough, but it’s part of growing and becoming who you really want to be.
⦁ Recognize that you are the only person that can control your thoughts, feelings and actions. Whatever you are feeling, it comes from within you, not anyone else.
⦁ Understand that everyone has things they dislike about themselves. That’s part of life. Rather than deny these shortcomings or project them onto someone else, accept them as part of what makes you unique. Look for ways to improve on the things you dislike about yourself.
⦁ Stop blaming others because you feel a certain way. It’s not their fault. When you blame others, you are lying to yourself, trying to justify your own reactions and making excuses rather than taking responsibility.
⦁ Accepting responsibility isn’t about allowing others to be mean to you. It it’s about controlling how you feel regardless of their behavior.
⦁ Take it one day at a time. Have a daily mantra that you tell yourself as you begin your day and often throughout the day, if needed. This might be “Today I will accept responsibility for my emotions.” Then work hard to do just that.
⦁ When someone says or does something that upsets you. First, recognize the emotional reaction you are feeling. Is it anger, hurt, shame, etc.? Next, ask yourself why you are feeling this way. Is it a reasonable reaction? Are you taking their actions personal when you shouldn’t be?
⦁ When things get heated or you’re faced with a stressful situation, take a walk to calm down rather than letting your emotions get the best of you.
⦁ Learn what your triggers are. What sets you off. Dig deep to find the root cause of why those things trigger you. When you can understand your emotions better, you can deal with them in a more appropriate way.
⦁ Like your triggers, take some time to investigate all of your emotions. What makes you happy, sad, angry, unsure, nervous, etc. The better you know yourself, the easier it will be to gain control of your feelings and reactions.
⦁ Remember, being responsible for your own feelings gives you the opportunity to learn from them. To grow as a person. To be live a happier life.