Normal relationships are ever-changing and challenging at times. They have their ups and downs. But some relationships can become toxic and those need immediate attention. Here are some signs you might be in a toxic relationship and tips for getting out of it.
Signs of a toxic relationship
Keep in mind, this list may not be complete. It’s possible there are other signs we have forgotten to include. In addition, some relationships may display one or two of these signs but are otherwise great. Toxic relationships will generally display a lot more than a couple signs though.
⦁ You seek emotional support from others before you do your partner
⦁ Your partner insists on you spending all of your free time with them, removing everyone else from your life.
⦁ Your partner criticizes you and makes you feel unworthy.
⦁ Your partner doesn’t respect your boundaries.
⦁ You are constantly on edge because your partner’s moods are unpredictable and sometimes violent.
⦁ You don’t feel valued as a person.
⦁ You receive passive aggressive behavior from your partner. They may give you the silent treatment rather than discuss the issue.
⦁ Your partner refuses to compromise on anything.
⦁ You feel you cannot trust your partner.
⦁ It’s always your fault. No matter the situation, they never admit wrongdoing.
⦁ Your partner has trust issues or is excessively jealous.
⦁ You or your partner blame one another for their unhappiness.
⦁ You feel the need to ask permission before doing the simplest things.
⦁ Your partner complains about you to their family and friends.
⦁ You cannot seem to do anything right.
⦁ Your partner refuses to support or chooses to ignore your interests or dreams.
⦁ You feel the need to lie to others or make excuses for your partner’s actions.
⦁ You live in a state of mental exhaustion because of your partner.
⦁ You feel ashamed of things you have done or said when interacting with your partner.
⦁ Your partner is emotionally or physically abusive to you or other family members.
⦁ You and your partner do not show a lot of affection towards one another.
⦁ You are forced or feel obligated to participate in unlawful or unethical things because it’s what your partner wants.
⦁ Your partner or you have cheated or are considering cheating.
⦁ Your partner is more worried about themselves than they are you or your family.
⦁ You feel alone even though you have a partner.
⦁ You feel worse about yourself now than you did at the beginning of the relationship.
⦁ Your partner dismisses your wants, needs and emotions.
⦁ Simple disagreements quickly escalate to explosive arguments.
⦁ Your partner insults or criticizes you but pretends to be joking about it.
⦁ Your partner makes you feel powerless, useless or worthless.
⦁ Your partner insists on things always being done his or her way. It’s their way or no way.
⦁ Your partner refuses to talk about things they feel are unimportant or that make them feel uncomfortable.
⦁ You dread coming home or your partner coming home.
⦁ You no longer feel like yourself.
⦁ Your partner does not contribute to the relationships equally – financially, emotionally, physically, etc.
⦁ You worry more about making your partner happy than making yourself happy.
⦁ Your partner is not reliable. If you were in a situation where you needed immediate help, you would not call your partner first.
⦁ You spend more time thinking about how great the past was than how wonderful the future will be.
⦁ Your partner does not talk with you first before making decisions that affect your life, such as spending large amounts of money, taking out a loan, buying expensive things, committing to something that requires your time and effort.
⦁ You feel trapped in the relationship.
Recovering From a toxic relationship
Leaving any relationship is tough, but especially so, if you are coming out of a toxic one where your own self-worth may be low and you are most likely physically and mentally exhausted. Use these tips to get back on track to becoming better, happier you.
⦁ List the perks of leaving.
⦁ Plan ahead for how you will initially fill the gap left in your life.
⦁ Don’t fill your schedule too full. While you don’t want to sit around moping, you need to allow your body and mind to recuperate after so much stress and anxiety.
⦁ Seek help, if necessary, to leave and to remain committed to that decision.
⦁ Talk about your feelings, seek professional help, if necessary. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.
⦁ Surround yourself with positive people.
⦁ Practice self-care to rebuild your body and mind.
⦁ Distance yourself from mutual friends, if necessary, until things cool off and you feel like you have control again.
⦁ Start a gratitude journal and write daily.
⦁ Be proud of yourself for taking a stand. You are worth it.
⦁ Do not succumb to self-blame. Remember the bad times as much as the good times.
⦁ Mend broken fences with friends and family.